I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize