we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
