I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
