Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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