she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
