Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
