Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
