why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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