Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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