you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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