Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
