I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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