wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
