Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
