So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
