Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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