She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
