WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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