And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
