Who wears a wallet chain?!
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
