I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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