I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize