Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
