I am in a vortex of obligation.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
