she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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