I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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