She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
