I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
