We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I cockslap morals
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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