My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It's not a walk of shame if you run
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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