Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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