I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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