So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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