Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
