What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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