I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
