Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We're using joints as your birthday candles
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
