so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
