ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
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