Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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