Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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