Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
His nipple licking is glorious
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