The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
