I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
