What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
