is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
