Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
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