You made me cry and you don't even care
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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