im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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