I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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