awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
