I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
