Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize