Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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