The maid of honor just puked.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
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