The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
