This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
