I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
