I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
