if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize