I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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