I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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